Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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