how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
