There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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