Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
