I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
