is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
