No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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