Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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