I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
