wanna go halves on a baby?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
