what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
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My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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