Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
