K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg đđ
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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