Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize