yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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