I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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