oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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