New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize