Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
