We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
