well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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