is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
