Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
