i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
