OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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