Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
