Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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