Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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