he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So. Much. Porn.
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