Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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