fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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