The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
bring money and cleavage
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
