I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
this hospital has no fireball
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
