Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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