I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
