And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i think my cat just said my name.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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