is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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