I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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