Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
