Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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