Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
