Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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