Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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