i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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