i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
