Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
