Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
