omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the day after is always just damage control
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
