I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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