Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize