Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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