Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
