you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
