puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
