they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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