Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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