i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
