I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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