so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
