Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
