this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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