So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
