i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
